Let’s continue our look at different types of women and situations, and how to play your cards right.
Beautiful Woman Pick-Up
You know when you see that incredibly hot number and your hands go numb? You want to say something, start a conversation… but you can barely stand or remain cogent, let alone put together a solid sentence. And if you can do that, usually all you can think to say is “My god, you are beautiful.”
Big mistake. That’s about all most guys can think to say, and trust me, truly gorgeous and attractive women are tired of hearing it. Not to mention they’re insecure about their appearance (since it becomes such a large part of their identity) and you’re liable to get yourself misunderstood. Worst case, she might actually think you’re mocking her and take offense!
Instead, if you feel the need to compliment her, comment on her energy. “Excuse me, but you have a great energy and I just wanted to talk to you.” It seems like a minor point, but by having the confidence in taking the focus off of her body and into the ephemeral, you’re separating yourself from the other hundred guys who said something to her that day – and you’re NOT talking about her body (which would nominate you for the Horny Loser Guy Award of Her Mind).
Another tact is to open by eliciting her opinion about something. Again, this is good because you’re placing the focus on her MIND and THOUGHTS – an area she feels is ignored because of her hot bod.
WITHOUT EVER kissing her ass or being extra-nice (classic wuss behavior which would tell her what you’re REALLY after) show respect and interest for her inner world – and you’ll have a great shot of getting to know her outer better.
Cold Girl Pick-Up
This lady is a classic. You know her – we all do. She is the Ice Queen Bitch. She shoots down everyone who approaches her – if you’re lucky, it’s a simple no, and if you’re unlucky, she belittles you and mentally knocks you around a bit before letting you scamper away.
Here’s the thing though: she’s probably NOT an Ice Queen Bitch. She just plays it in pick-up situations.
Odds are good that she’s attractive, or has a charisma that draws men to her like moths to matches. And so she’s dealing with dudes coming on to her. All. The. Time. And she’s sick of it.
So rather than be polite and have to suffer through multiple when-will-this-guy-leave-me-alone moments, she gets nasty off the bat. Saves her trouble – even saves the guy time, it’s a mercy killing.
Nonetheless, you’ve got to get past that initial response to find the thawed sweet person inside. How
Surprisingly, it isn’t that hard. First, position yourself near her – not facing her or anything, but within earshot. Wait for the next guy to make a play and get shot down.
If she says something cutting and witty, maybe chuckle a bit – out loud, but to yourself. And when he goes, lean in and say something like “I couldn’t help but hear that lame attempt. You must get tired of guys always hitting on you.”
She’ll probably let out an angry sigh and agree. “What’s the worst one you’ve heard today?”
She’ll launch into a story, and you can start talking about silly pick-ups you’ve heard, make fun of the guys she’s dealt with… and ta-da, you’ve just slid past her frosty defense.
Odds are, she’s lonely behind it, and she’ll be EXTREMELY grateful she’s found someone she can talk to. From there, you know what to do.
One-Night-Stand Pick-Up
This is not for the faint-of-heart, but it WILL work. Rhett Butler used to say he propositioned every woman he ever met – that way, even if only 1% respond positively, he’d never spend the night alone.
Well, this is sort of like that. Open the girl up using any of the various techniques you’ve learned throughout this book, and then QUICKLY close with “So, how would you like an orally-stimulated orgasm?” Most women will either slap you (if you’re drooling as you say it) or laugh (if you’ve delivered it right, but she’s not up for some casual sex just now).
BUT, a certain number of women will pause, think a moment, and then say “Alright, let’s go.” If you go to a club – with literally hundreds of women – and you say this to all of them, it WILL work eventually. You just need the guts and perseverance to find the right girl, in the right mood.
Hairdresser Pick-Up
First off – and this should be obvious – DON’T get your hair cut by your grand-daddy’s old war buddy. Pick a hip salon stocked with pretty young things.
Then, have a GOOD conversation. Listen, these ladies are paid to talk to you, keep you entertained while they cut your hair – the more enjoyable your experience, the bigger their tips. So she WANTS to talk for the half hour it takes to get your hair done.
The key here is – you need to make it feel like it ISN’T work, but is actually a conversation she enjoys. And that’s real simple – don’t talk about yourself the way everyone else does (and the way she herself will prompt you), but instead get her talking about HER life. YOU prompt HER. Ask her questions – start off with stuff that’s work-related, but as soon as a nugget comes in that will let you veer off into her personal life, grab it.
Then, when she’s finished up, say “I really enjoyed our chat, and I’d like to continue it. What time do you get off?” Even if she’s not available that day, if you’ve done your job right, she’ll be eager to meet you on another one. Nice score.
Derek Vitalio
Check out Derek Vitalio material:
Derek Vitalio Seduction Newsletter: http://www.seductiontuition.com/derek-vitalio/newsletter
Get The Girlfriend: http://www.seductiontuition.com/derek-vitalio/get-the-girlfriend
Blissnosis Master Program: http://www.seductiontuition.com/derek-vitalio/blissnosis
Seduction Archetypes: http://www.seductiontuition.com/derek-vitalio/archetypes
Seduction Science, 3rd Edition: http://www.seductiontuition.com/derek-vitalio/third-edition
Seduction Science eBook: http://www.seductiontuition.com/derek-vitalio/latest-ebook
Deep Inner Game Series: http://www.seductiontuition.com/derek-vitalio/third-edition
Different ladies like different things. If you can learn the best ways to trigger attraction in each type of woman, you’re going to be a very busy man.
Focusing In
We’ve been going over a number of things that will work with ANY girl, but there’s no doubt, ladies come in many flavors.
And for each of those flavors, there’s a particularly strong method of activating interest and attraction. Below, I’m going to go over a number of different types of ladies (in a number of different places), and the methods that I’ve found work best in hooking their interest.
Political Girl Pick-Up
These ladies are all over the place – demonstrations, strategy meetings, listening to speakers at events or at rallies. Their stripes are quite varied – environmentalist, feminist, peaceniks and granolas and members of the free love society. They tend to be loud, opinionated, and liberal.
They also tend to intimidate a number of men. Don’t let them! As I said, they’re liberal – in all senses of the word. Many believe in sex as entertainment or exercise or spiritual practice – anything but the traditional “only with your life partner” sort of thing. Consequently, you’ve already got a nice format to work within when you meet one of these chicks.
The key is simple: listen, listen, listen. They feel passionate about what they’re doing, and it’s rare they find anyone to talk about it with – outside their fellow activists. They’re dying to talk about this stuff – they know the facts down cold, they’re convinced they’re on the right track (and usually the rest of the world is either blind, ignorant, or stupid), and – the key – NO ONE likes to hear them go on and on.
So you let them. In fact, you encourage them. I met a girl protesting against nuclear waste. I started up a conversation about alternative energy, and we were off and running. While we were still going strong I said “Listen, I’ve gotta go, but this is really interesting. Let’s get together for coffee continue this.”
We did, and after we’d had our fill of solar cells, I guided the conversation to sexier subjects. Bear in mind, of course, that the whole time I kept it PLAYFUL – but didn’t tease at her core beliefs much if at all. Keep it fun and positive and good things will happen.
Young Girls Pick-Up
Alright, this is simple. When you’re dealing with someone significantly younger than you (say you’re 31 and she’s 20) then you want to avoid getting into anything DEEP. She might seem kind of superficial to you – that’s simply because she hasn’t had enough experience to get life depth.
So, keep it light, airy even. Treat her like your little brat sister who you tease mercilessly but you both know you love her just the same. Do lots of fun things, fun activities. Keep the movement and energy high – and then, when you find a quiet moment, fill it with that kiss.
Oh, and don’t be scared to highlight your experience. Say you’re talking about some aspect of sex – young girls in general LOVE to talk about sex – and she says “Oh, I’ve never done that.”
Feel free to give her a sly look and respond with something like “Well we’ll have to teach you then. It’s a necessary ingredient for any good repertoire – and you’ll LOVE it.” Say it in such a way she isn’t sure if you’re propositioning her or not – leave her guessing. Ideally, she should be wondering if a sophisticate like yourself is really serious about getting intimate with a young lady like herself.
And you want her to keep wondering. Remember, treat her like a young brat, always having fun, but like she’s not ready to handle the likes of YOU.
Then, when the moment comes, take FIRM CONTROL. For all the idiots out there, that doesn’t mean manhandle or assault. Jerk.
That means you GUIDE her, you don’t ask for permission, you stay in control of the entire encounter, and lead her to and through her dream fantasy of being taught the ways of love by an older more experienced man.
Be that man.
Young Lady with Baby Pick-Up
A lot of guys, once they see a woman has a kid (or kids), they freak and run away. A number of things add to this – they’re scared there’s a father lurking nearby and they’ll be treated like a camper getting between a mother bear and her cubs. They’re also scared that they’ll be volunteered as the dad, and that isn’t an attractive prospect.
The truth of the matter in the modern world is, a lot of women are single mothers. Especially the young ones. And, if you don’t have the moral qualms, a number of young ones are attached – but unhappily, as a result of the kid.
Not to mention, when they’ve got a young kid, they’re suffering from the sudden change to motherhood. They still yearn for carefree party days, they miss them, but they’ve got all this new responsibility that keeps them up nights and most guys suddenly don’t want to know them.
Potent. These ladies are sitting ducks.
Know the old saying “Love me, love my babies.” That’s the key right there. Use the kid as your opening, talk about what a cute kid the lady has, throw the compliments around liberally where the child is concerned.
This is wonderful because it doesn’t seem like a pick-up at all, and it’ll open up a conversation where you find out about her love life, as well (if you don’t want to pursue the attached women of the world).
Then, you can transition to talking about how her life has changed, how she doesn’t get to go out as much as she used to – and, as if you just thought of it on the spot, say something like “You know what, you deserve a reward. This Tuesday let your mom watch your baby and we’ll go do something fun – something like you USED to do.”
This method will work pretty damn well.
More to come.
Derek Vitalio
Check out Derek Vitalio material:
Derek Vitalio Seduction Newsletter: http://www.seductiontuition.com/derek-vitalio/newsletter
Get The Girlfriend: http://www.seductiontuition.com/derek-vitalio/get-the-girlfriend
Blissnosis Master Program: http://www.seductiontuition.com/derek-vitalio/blissnosis
Seduction Archetypes: http://www.seductiontuition.com/derek-vitalio/archetypes
Seduction Science, 3rd Edition: http://www.seductiontuition.com/derek-vitalio/third-edition
Seduction Science eBook: http://www.seductiontuition.com/derek-vitalio/latest-ebook
Deep Inner Game Series: http://www.seductiontuition.com/derek-vitalio/third-edition
We've all been there before...
We had a girl we KNEW was into us, but for some reason or another, we chickened out and didn't make our move.
After that, it was OVER.
Opportunity gone - bye, bye!
Recently, I got an email about this very problem...
QUESTION FROM A READER:
Hi Joseph,
I have a quick question for you. Do you think there is a point were if you don't make a physical move that it is too late to salvage?
Just for context, I was seeing the woman, probably saw her about 4-5 times or so and every time we spend about 5-6 hours together and had a really good time. Definitely felt like we connected. She's not the most physical person but I could tell that she was into me I just had to make a move. I learned not to take it as a failure but I clammed up and did not make a move. NowI would like your opinion if you have time.
I haven't seen her in about two weeks but have had brief emails with her. She's been telling me that she's been really busy with a new job and school and hasn't had time to make plans. I took this as a 'not interested anymore', but she continues to write.
I'm droning on here so I guess my question really is if you chicken out well past the point of making a connection, is it salvageable or should I just take this as a learning experience and move on?
I think I answered my own question here but am interested on your opinion about the timing of making a move and when you feel it's too late.
Thanks again for everything.
Mike
MY RESPONSE
First of all, let me say this:
THIS IS A COMMON PROBLEM!
There are SO many guys who either know the time is right and don't act on it, or they miss the signals the girl is sending out entirely.
Mike's question is: Is there a way to salvage this situation?
My answer to him is: Yes, but its very difficult and not guaranteed to work.
And I'll tell you why...
If a girl is interested in you, there's going to be a point where she WANTS you to make a move.
If you continue to pass up this escalation of physical connection, she is going to start thinking that you just aren't into her.
And when that happens, in her mind, she just WRITES YOU OFF.
You are instantly plopped in the "oh well," category.
So that later, when you DO finally work up the nerve to make yor move, the girl is TOTALLY not into it...
Because she's already moved on.
At this point the only thing you can do is hope she is still attracted to you, and start flirting with her all over again.
This can be difficult because she may not want to waste time dating you if she thinks you're not interested in her.
But if you ARE able to get together with her again, you have to really up the flirting WITHOUT coming off as needy.
That's the real trick.
In fact, the same strategies I outline in my ebook "Escape The Friend Zone" apply directly to a salvage situation like this.
(That's a free bonus when you download a copy of The Art Of Approaching.)
But as always, the best defense is a good offence.
Translation: DON'T LET THIS SITUATION HAPPEN!
It is very important that you get physical with a woman as fast as you can.
Why?
Because the sooner the two of you can establish a physical connection, the clearer your romantic relationship becomes.
Delaying this or hesitating WILL serve to blow your chances.
You need to work hard to recognize when the right time to get physical is.
If you've followed the instructions I lay out in my ebook The Art Of Approaching, then you know exactly what you have to do to make sure this happens...
Establish a connection.
Flirt to show interest.
Read body language to know when the time is right.
These are all very important steps, and if you skip one of them YOU WILL PAY FOR IT.
Do not allow yourself to let an opportunity pass you by when it presents itself.
The best way to do that is to learn my strategies. If you really want to get good and nab that special girl, download my ebook today by clicking the link below:
Click Here To Start Meeting Beautiful Women Right Now!
And if you REALLY want to get into advanced tactics, you have to check out my multi-media home study course. Click the link below to take a gander:
Click Here To Discover Advanced Tactics!
Once you learn these simple relationship secrets, you'll always know when to make your move.
Talk soon,
Joseph Matthews
I recently received an email from a young lady concerning my dating advice...
QUESTION FROM A WOMAN:
Hi -
Must admit, my initial sign-up was to see exactly what my 'ex' was reading up on once we had split up.
I was surprisingly pleased to find that much of what your newsletters entailed was pretty darned accurate.
None of the 'go for it, she's putty anyway' garbage that some of the other "guys" out there seem to think is appropriate behaviour for single men in approaching single women.
So having said that, I'm now curious. You still write your newsletters (3 weeks into my receiving them) as if you're a single man. If this is the case, is it because you've not found anyone that stimulates your "self" enough to pursue a longer term relationship, or do you continue to present yourself as such in order to present a 'united front' in a man's pursuit of successfully approaching women, even though you yourself have entered a mutually pleasing relationship already?
Just curious,
Pan
MY RESPONSE:
Are you asking because you want to date me?
=)
Here's the thing...
I don't write from a "single man's" perspective, nor do I try to put up a "unified front" for the benefit of all me out there.
I write from the perspective of a man trying to UNDERSTAND women.
See, this is key...
The real problems that people run into with male/female dynamics is that they don't understand where the other person is coming from.
Women are a mystery to most men.
Men are a mystery to most women.
Its not until we try to understand the opposite sex that we can start having real success with them.
Back in my "lovable loser" days, this was something that was COMPLETELY foreign to me.
Seriously, I had NO CLUE about how women operated. I was so busy focused on my own needs, ideas, and feelings, that I never bothered to understand things from the other side.
Many men fall into this trap.
When a guy approaches a girl, and its obvious he's interested, and he doesn't bother to try to understand the mental space she's coming from, and he blurts out:
"I like you. Wanna go out sometime?"
He's demonstrating a COMPLETE lack of understanding about the woman he's approaching.
And you know what? That turns women off.
But the same guy will then turn around and despair about how "unlucky" he is with chicks.
But the rub is this:
LUCK HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.
Its about understanding the woman you're approaching.
What is she thinking?
What is she feeling?
What is she responding to?
What is turning her off?
These are all VERY IMPORTANT factors in being successful in relationships and dating.
This is because true success comes from creating powerful connections between a man and a woman.
Love, sex, relationships... none of them can happen without SOME FORM of connection between two people.
If you lack understanding, it is very hard to form these kinds of connections.
But if you understand the underlying process of creating connections, things like active disinterest, strategic flirting, powerful confidence, covert openers, and various other things I talk about in The Art Of Approaching...
You can achieve INCREDIBLE success.
And what's more, it can happen FAST.
So if you're serious about getting good with women, you really need to check out my book the Art Of Approaching.
In it, you'll find all the best strategies for creating powerful connections with women.
Check it out by clicking the link below:
Click Here To Start Meeting Beautiful Women Right Now!
Or, if you feel you want to step things up a bit and REALLY see some results, check out my advanced multimedia course.
In it, I go really IN DEPTH into certain strategies and tactics that can supercharge your lovelife.
You can find out more about it by clicking the link below:
Click Here To Discover Advanced Strategies!
Do it now.
Talk soon,
Joseph Matthews
I've got a very interesting question for this edition of my newsletter. Check it out...
QUESTION:
Joseph,
I can't praise your material enough. Everything in The Art of Approaching is spot-on and phenomenally effective.
My question is regarding approaching and pick-up in other countries.
I travel around a lot, and often find myself in situations where the target or group does not speak English.
I know that game is a universal language, but it seems to rely quite heavily on language.
Do you have any advice for pick-up in the non-English international scene?
Thanks,
VC
from Atlanta
MY RESPONSE:
Coming from a guy who's traveled around a lot, I know where you're coming from.
I get a lot of emails all the time from people outside the U.S. asking:
"Will these tactics work in my country?"
The answer to that is YES.
Social interactions break past all language and cultural barriers.
Did you know you could meet a woman just by LOOKING at her?
Its true.
If you're a follower of my newsletters, you'll know the eye contact test by now.
In case you don't know it, here it is:
When you see a girl, look at her eyes.
If she looks at you and meets your gaze, smile at her.
If she smiles back, she's ready to be approached by you.
Now, eye contact and smiling require NO LANGUAGE AT ALL.
It's all BODY LANGUAGE.
So when it comes to dealing with women who don't speak your native tongue, you must rely on your body and your actions to speak for you.
BUT
Knowing a little bit of the language from the country you're in can go a long way.
Know the phrases like:
"You're so beautiful."
"I like you."
"You're fun."
"Do you like me?"
"Would you like to spend some time together?"
And so on.
If you know just a FEW words in the native tongue, you can get by pretty well.
Also remember to be a little more aggressive to help break past the language barrier.
Learn to exuded your own sexuality and intentions.
This type of subcommunication leaves no room for the imagination. The girl, no matter where she's from, will know what you want.
And this is a GOOD THING.
Remember: The concepts I teach in the Art Of Approaching are FUNDAMENTAL.
They are the groundwork for any interaction you have with women - no matter where you are.
If you're serious about mastering the art of meeting women, then you really need to get my course The Art Of Approaching.
In it, I'll teach you everything you need to know about body language, flirting, and what to say to meet a woman (and never get rejected!).
Click the link below to check it out now:
Click Here To Start Meeting Beautiful Women Right Now!
Before you know it, you'll be an international ladies man!
Talk soon,
Joseph Matthews
|
RSS Feed