We've all been there before...
We had a girl we KNEW was into us, but for some reason or another, we chickened out and didn't make our move.
After that, it was OVER.
Opportunity gone - bye, bye!
Recently, I got an email about this very problem...
QUESTION FROM A READER:
Hi Joseph,
I have a quick question for you. Do you think there is a point were if you don't make a physical move that it is too late to salvage?
Just for context, I was seeing the woman, probably saw her about 4-5 times or so and every time we spend about 5-6 hours together and had a really good time. Definitely felt like we connected. She's not the most physical person but I could tell that she was into me I just had to make a move. I learned not to take it as a failure but I clammed up and did not make a move. NowI would like your opinion if you have time.
I haven't seen her in about two weeks but have had brief emails with her. She's been telling me that she's been really busy with a new job and school and hasn't had time to make plans. I took this as a 'not interested anymore', but she continues to write.
I'm droning on here so I guess my question really is if you chicken out well past the point of making a connection, is it salvageable or should I just take this as a learning experience and move on?
I think I answered my own question here but am interested on your opinion about the timing of making a move and when you feel it's too late.
Thanks again for everything.
Mike
MY RESPONSE
First of all, let me say this:
THIS IS A COMMON PROBLEM!
There are SO many guys who either know the time is right and don't act on it, or they miss the signals the girl is sending out entirely.
Mike's question is: Is there a way to salvage this situation?
My answer to him is: Yes, but its very difficult and not guaranteed to work.
And I'll tell you why...
If a girl is interested in you, there's going to be a point where she WANTS you to make a move.
If you continue to pass up this escalation of physical connection, she is going to start thinking that you just aren't into her.
And when that happens, in her mind, she just WRITES YOU OFF.
You are instantly plopped in the "oh well," category.
So that later, when you DO finally work up the nerve to make yor move, the girl is TOTALLY not into it...
Because she's already moved on.
At this point the only thing you can do is hope she is still attracted to you, and start flirting with her all over again.
This can be difficult because she may not want to waste time dating you if she thinks you're not interested in her.
But if you ARE able to get together with her again, you have to really up the flirting WITHOUT coming off as needy.
That's the real trick.
In fact, the same strategies I outline in my ebook "Escape The Friend Zone" apply directly to a salvage situation like this.
(That's a free bonus when you download a copy of The Art Of Approaching.)
But as always, the best defense is a good offence.
Translation: DON'T LET THIS SITUATION HAPPEN!
It is very important that you get physical with a woman as fast as you can.
Why?
Because the sooner the two of you can establish a physical connection, the clearer your romantic relationship becomes.
Delaying this or hesitating WILL serve to blow your chances.
You need to work hard to recognize when the right time to get physical is.
If you've followed the instructions I lay out in my ebook The Art Of Approaching, then you know exactly what you have to do to make sure this happens...
Establish a connection.
Flirt to show interest.
Read body language to know when the time is right.
These are all very important steps, and if you skip one of them YOU WILL PAY FOR IT.
Do not allow yourself to let an opportunity pass you by when it presents itself.
The best way to do that is to learn my strategies. If you really want to get good and nab that special girl, download my ebook today by clicking the link below:
Click Here To Start Meeting Beautiful Women Right Now!
And if you REALLY want to get into advanced tactics, you have to check out my multi-media home study course. Click the link below to take a gander:
Click Here To Discover Advanced Tactics!
Once you learn these simple relationship secrets, you'll always know when to make your move.
Talk soon,
Joseph Matthews
I recently received an email from a young lady concerning my dating advice...
QUESTION FROM A WOMAN:
Hi -
Must admit, my initial sign-up was to see exactly what my 'ex' was reading up on once we had split up.
I was surprisingly pleased to find that much of what your newsletters entailed was pretty darned accurate.
None of the 'go for it, she's putty anyway' garbage that some of the other "guys" out there seem to think is appropriate behaviour for single men in approaching single women.
So having said that, I'm now curious. You still write your newsletters (3 weeks into my receiving them) as if you're a single man. If this is the case, is it because you've not found anyone that stimulates your "self" enough to pursue a longer term relationship, or do you continue to present yourself as such in order to present a 'united front' in a man's pursuit of successfully approaching women, even though you yourself have entered a mutually pleasing relationship already?
Just curious,
Pan
MY RESPONSE:
Are you asking because you want to date me?
=)
Here's the thing...
I don't write from a "single man's" perspective, nor do I try to put up a "unified front" for the benefit of all me out there.
I write from the perspective of a man trying to UNDERSTAND women.
See, this is key...
The real problems that people run into with male/female dynamics is that they don't understand where the other person is coming from.
Women are a mystery to most men.
Men are a mystery to most women.
Its not until we try to understand the opposite sex that we can start having real success with them.
Back in my "lovable loser" days, this was something that was COMPLETELY foreign to me.
Seriously, I had NO CLUE about how women operated. I was so busy focused on my own needs, ideas, and feelings, that I never bothered to understand things from the other side.
Many men fall into this trap.
When a guy approaches a girl, and its obvious he's interested, and he doesn't bother to try to understand the mental space she's coming from, and he blurts out:
"I like you. Wanna go out sometime?"
He's demonstrating a COMPLETE lack of understanding about the woman he's approaching.
And you know what? That turns women off.
But the same guy will then turn around and despair about how "unlucky" he is with chicks.
But the rub is this:
LUCK HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.
Its about understanding the woman you're approaching.
What is she thinking?
What is she feeling?
What is she responding to?
What is turning her off?
These are all VERY IMPORTANT factors in being successful in relationships and dating.
This is because true success comes from creating powerful connections between a man and a woman.
Love, sex, relationships... none of them can happen without SOME FORM of connection between two people.
If you lack understanding, it is very hard to form these kinds of connections.
But if you understand the underlying process of creating connections, things like active disinterest, strategic flirting, powerful confidence, covert openers, and various other things I talk about in The Art Of Approaching...
You can achieve INCREDIBLE success.
And what's more, it can happen FAST.
So if you're serious about getting good with women, you really need to check out my book the Art Of Approaching.
In it, you'll find all the best strategies for creating powerful connections with women.
Check it out by clicking the link below:
Click Here To Start Meeting Beautiful Women Right Now!
Or, if you feel you want to step things up a bit and REALLY see some results, check out my advanced multimedia course.
In it, I go really IN DEPTH into certain strategies and tactics that can supercharge your lovelife.
You can find out more about it by clicking the link below:
Click Here To Discover Advanced Strategies!
Do it now.
Talk soon,
Joseph Matthews
I've got a very interesting question for this edition of my newsletter. Check it out...
QUESTION:
Joseph,
I can't praise your material enough. Everything in The Art of Approaching is spot-on and phenomenally effective.
My question is regarding approaching and pick-up in other countries.
I travel around a lot, and often find myself in situations where the target or group does not speak English.
I know that game is a universal language, but it seems to rely quite heavily on language.
Do you have any advice for pick-up in the non-English international scene?
Thanks,
VC
from Atlanta
MY RESPONSE:
Coming from a guy who's traveled around a lot, I know where you're coming from.
I get a lot of emails all the time from people outside the U.S. asking:
"Will these tactics work in my country?"
The answer to that is YES.
Social interactions break past all language and cultural barriers.
Did you know you could meet a woman just by LOOKING at her?
Its true.
If you're a follower of my newsletters, you'll know the eye contact test by now.
In case you don't know it, here it is:
When you see a girl, look at her eyes.
If she looks at you and meets your gaze, smile at her.
If she smiles back, she's ready to be approached by you.
Now, eye contact and smiling require NO LANGUAGE AT ALL.
It's all BODY LANGUAGE.
So when it comes to dealing with women who don't speak your native tongue, you must rely on your body and your actions to speak for you.
BUT
Knowing a little bit of the language from the country you're in can go a long way.
Know the phrases like:
"You're so beautiful."
"I like you."
"You're fun."
"Do you like me?"
"Would you like to spend some time together?"
And so on.
If you know just a FEW words in the native tongue, you can get by pretty well.
Also remember to be a little more aggressive to help break past the language barrier.
Learn to exuded your own sexuality and intentions.
This type of subcommunication leaves no room for the imagination. The girl, no matter where she's from, will know what you want.
And this is a GOOD THING.
Remember: The concepts I teach in the Art Of Approaching are FUNDAMENTAL.
They are the groundwork for any interaction you have with women - no matter where you are.
If you're serious about mastering the art of meeting women, then you really need to get my course The Art Of Approaching.
In it, I'll teach you everything you need to know about body language, flirting, and what to say to meet a woman (and never get rejected!).
Click the link below to check it out now:
Click Here To Start Meeting Beautiful Women Right Now!
Before you know it, you'll be an international ladies man!
Talk soon,
Joseph Matthews
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